The Big Yellow Bubble!

When you are ready to have your first child, you are filled with anticipation, trepedation, and feelings of inadequacy. I remember feeling at 23, I couldn't wait to meet her, but was still just a child myself. How could I be 'Mom'? Did I have the wisdom and the insight to make a...person? Well, ready or not this kid was coming so I guess I better just figure it out, right? These were the feelings I had as I was living in my little basement apartment in NJ. I didn't have a house to bring her home to, but was scheduled for a C section, as Amanda was to stubborn to turn and decided she wanted to come feet first instead of head first. I tell her all the time that she wanted to dance her way into the world. So, When she decided to come the day before she was scheduled, I thought, oh no, I can't do this. But Then, as they hand this perfect little person to me, a complete stranger, but one that you would do anything for; sacrifice anything just to protect them, you wonder what it was you were so afraid of? This is what my purpose is: To protect this little person that's mine; to keep this little person safe and comfortable and happy. To help all her dreams come true.

Immediate, pure love!

But then life comes in and sort of steals the moment. You soon realize that you can't protect them from everything. There is going to be pain, there is heartache, and that little bubble you so desperately want to keep inflated around them starts to deflate. The Dr. tells you, "Sorry, but she has a displaced hip and will need to be in a harness for at least the 1st 4 months of life." What? My perfect baby? They get their first fever. They have to stay in the hospital for the first time, and the Dr's have to take them away to do a spinal tap. What? You're thinking. You're going to stick a needle into my tiny babies SPINE? You think, let's see how much you like it! All you want to do is grab your baby and run, but instead you stand outside the door and wait, trying to have faith that someone knows what they are doing and it will all turn out fine... And it does.

Then the first day of school comes. You hope you have taught them what they need to know. You hope the kids will be nice to them and that you've done everything you can. So you send them out into the world, with a back pack, some crayons, and a lunch box as an arsenal of protection. Now THEY seem so inadaquate. You let them leave your bubble and put them into a big yellow bubble on wheels. It's a lot harder than it looks with your first kid. But you know you have to look like it's ok so they'll think it's ok. You come in and have your cry, and wait with a lonely heart till they come home. You resist the urge to call the school, to make sure that they got off and went into the right place. (I got off on the wrong stop once, so I know it can happen)

You soon recall that the yellow bubble is a place of unserpervion, and mayhem. Your little bubble of protection is very different than the other bubble. You realize that the yellow bubble is filled with crude words, crass gestures, and people that will be your best friend one day and then stab you in the back the next. Oh yeah! That's life! Haha! Outside your bubble. You hope your kids will make the right choices. More importantly, you hope that you can help them if they make the wrong choice. You hope they will listen to you, and fear that they won't. You hope you can handle it with wisdom when they don't listen and make a mistake because they most certainly will. You hope that you can help them avoid some of your own pitfalls, and help them handle problems with more dignity than you did yourself. You remember your own parents and suddenly become so greatfull for their wisdom, and wish you had listened to them more before. Your siblings who drove you nuts as a child become your best friends, and water for your soul. No one knows you better, and no one can think like you and know your heart so perfectly.

So Maybe this new Bubble isn't so bad. Just maybe, if you taught them well, they will be able to create their own bubble; One that will protect themselves.

There ARE wonderful, amazing people out there, ready and willing to pass on their knowledge and gifts . It IS A Wonderful World (click here to see), and if the bubble bursts for a moment and they get hurt, they will get up, dust themselves off and keep going just like you have. And you can be there waiting in the wings for them when they need your help.

A Nutcracker Christmas!

Are the Holiday's over? They sure came and went in a whirlwind. I don't know where the time goes. Oh wait, maybe I do. November and December were spent running the girls to their Nutrcracker Ballet rehearsals. Dustin built a sled for the Nutcracker. It turned out really cool. I and one of Amanda's dance teachers cut out and painted Christmas tree props. It kept us way busy and I don't know how we got Christmas done with all that going on but the performance was amazing. It turned into a beautiful show.

Christmas was spent with Dustin's family. His parents and Jason came and we had a quiet Christmas at our house. The big family present this year was a Trampline for the kids. They woke up, looked out the window and saw it sitting in the front yard and IMMEDIATELY ran to the back yard screaming, "Did he leave a swimming pool too?"...What? I think we have spoiled kids. :)

The car companies shut down the week after Christmas, so Dustin has the week off. Monday after Christmas we hopped into the Pilot and took the kids to Pigeon Forge Tennessee, somewhere we've never been before. It's a town right at the entrance to the Smoky Mountain National Forest. Dollywood is there. We didn't go! But we did take the kids to some shows and "Wonderworks" , an interactive discovery center for kids. It was a lot of fun. We did hear twice though, " Would Dustin Townsend please report to the earthquake?" Yes...we lost Evan... twice. It was obviously a discovery center for adults as well. We went to some Cavern's and visited our friends in VA on the way home. It was a lot of fun to see the Smith's. Then we stopped in Annapolis at my Mom's for the night and spent the next day with The Townsend clan in Severn for our Christmas gift exchange. Now school is back in session and I'm contemplating taking down the tree and decorations. I hate that part. It's so depressing! But so glad we got to enjoy and celebrate the birth of the Savior. So greatful for him and the blessings he continually gives us.

National Lampoons Thanksgiving Vacation!

The Girls Coreographed a dance for a little show they put on. All the girls are taking dance lessons right now with the exception of Hailey who's not quite 2. But she made up for it by stealing the show when the boys tried to do the "boys dance". Austin got mad and said "it's the boy's dance!" so when Alex tried to pull her away she started smacking her Dad in the face screaming "NO, NO, NO!" I think we have another little dancer girl not afraid of an audience.

The entire Clan at the Scenic overlook! You can tell by Dustin's closed eyes and Evan's crazy face what a fun time we had getting our kids to stand still. Jeremy, Duane's son got to come hang out with us too. What a treat getting to see him, Grandma Marie, and Aunt Dale.

The litte Men with a Knight after the Medievil Times show! They enjoyed swordfighting together the most. And we had fun watching them.

The Trailer Park! What a sight we were!

Motts and Tressler Kids ~ Great Friends and Neighbors! I don't know why the picture is teeny weeny!

Just got back this week from a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday. We went to my Mom's house down in Annapolis. The only way we could all stay was to park two trailers in the driveway.There were 24 of us, and We looked like some crazy redneck family, or cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation. We had 2 huge trailers and like 6 SUV's. Fun times! Amy, John and their kids drove out. So brave! Katie, Alex, Maya and Hailey came out; And James and Kayleen and their two adorable boys. I almost stole their baby Makai because he's just so stinkin' cute. I would only have kept him till he was 2, then I would have TOTALLY given him back. But then... I remembered that all my kids are potty trained and I wouldn't want to give up the enjoyment of watching my Baby Brother have to change all those messy diapers knowing I don't have to! HA! I was relishing that! Sorry James, you know I love ya! And Kayleen, just hand those babies right over to James and say it's Erica's paybacks from wayback! HA!!! Hahaha! But watching James change diapers was only ALMOST my favorite thing about the trip. We went to the Broadneck Ward on Sunday, and I got to walk around the building seeing all my old haunts and seeing all my former teachers. We went to the DC Temple Vistors center and saw "The Testaments", my personal fav. We went to the Air and Space museum in VA. We saw the Enterprise space shuttle, and I humored Dustin while he spent at least 30 min. discussing the inner workings of an engine with John. The next day we went to the Capital Building and took a tour. It was really neat to see the statue of Ronald Reagan and the pieces of the Berlin wall that they incorporated into it. I couldn't help but reach out and touch the small pieces of a wall that kept so many excluded from the rest of the world. We went to the National Archives and saw the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. I TRIED to see the National Art Museum, but left in a huff after the boys tried to touch a naked statue and Dustin made jokes about the Degas. Next time I'll take MYSELF on a date to the art museum :) We went to Port discovery the next day in Baltimore where the kids got to play for hours, totally entertained. I'm pretty sure I gave some change to a drug addict as we left, but she looked so mournful and said all she wanted to do was make it home for Thanksgiving, and here I am leaving the cold to go home to a most amazing meal. I don't know why but that girl got to me and I don't think I'll ever forget her face. You could tell she was really beautifull...before the drugs took hold of her...Ugh!! It made me so very Thankfull for All that I have. A wonderful Family, Mother, the Savior, my testimony of him, the Commandments, and the Word of Wisdom that keep me free from those awful chains that are so difficult to break.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal prepared by my awesome cook Mother who makes everything so special. We got to visit with our old neigbors, the Mott family and talked and talked about old times and new. And then we ended our visit with a trip to Medievil Times. The little guys loved the sword fights and the pooper scooper guys! All the little guys got into a sword fight at the end, and we had a blast watching them. Then we said our last goodbyes and my Sister Amy and her sweet family Drove away in her Tahoe...Waaaaah!

It was great to see my Sister's and Brothers and their spouses and families. I was sad to see it end, but glad we finally had an opportunity for all of us to be together in one house again. Can't wait for the next time!

I forgot my camera battery, so there aren't many pictures to share. Any that I share are mostly from others. Thanks! HA!

Stay in Designating Hiking Areas!

Sweet little Delaney! Right behind her is the cliff with a Yellow jacket Nest! YIKES!!!
Bee-fore the boys were terrorized they had a great time climbing the rocks.

The girls had a great time just wading in the pool!

No exploring for them! Girls are so much easier!

I'm not usually supersticious, but maybe Friday the 13th really is bad luck.

Yesterday I took my kids, + 3 of my nieces, my friend Nikki and her 3 kids...(what? that's like 10 kids? I'm nuts! :) up to Childs Park. It's a beautiful scenic area with waterfalls and hiking trails. There are signs that say "Stay in designated Hiking areas" .... Now I know why. :) We were just enjoying the day watching the kids wade in the pool below the falls when the older boys decided to do some exploring. Austin started following them up a cliff, and that made me nervous so I went after him. He made it up the cliff before I got to him so Nikki tells her son Kyler (8) to help Austin down. They started to come down a different way and the thought came to me "Have them go down the way they came!" ALWAYS LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD!!! AND LISTEN QUICK!!! But as I surveyed the area it seemed safer than the other way they got up which was abstructed by a large downed tree and very steep. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to go up after them that way. As I started to reach for Austin, the two boys stepped RIGHT in the middle of a yellow jacket nest. I was face level to the nest and they immediately started attacking my head and went after the boys. Austin got about 10 stings, Kyler ran the other direction and got about 18 stings. Ryland seems to have not been stung, and Evan got about 5 on his back. I don't know for sure how many bees got me but my head sure is a little sore today. All I kept thinking is that the boys were going to go over the other side of the cliff. Nikki, the other Mom saw Kyler in sheer terror on the other side. I couldn't see where he went. I don't know how she did it, but she leaped up that cliff so fast grabbed Kyler and got him down. We had to reach over the nest to get to the boys. Hearing your kids screaming when you can't get to them is the worst sound in the world. I never want to hear it again.

I was reminded by the kids Pediatrician though when I called her after we got the kids back to the car (thanks Dr. McCugh) that we can't always see the dangers or know what's around the bend. That made me feel better, but also reminded me that it's Just like keeping the commandments. It may look safe enough. But we've been asked to "stay in the designated hiking areas" following his council and staying in line with the gospel. I've had youth ask me what's wrong with getting more than one piercing? Or a tattoo? What's wrong with watching that rated R movie or playing those video games? What's wrong with a little alcohol? What's the big deal? You know what...I don't know! But Heavenly Father does!!! His perspective is bigger than mine. He can see what I can't see, so by golly I'm going to do what he asks! Nikki was so brave to jump up there, right into the middle of the nest to get Kyler.

She got at least half a dozen stings doing it.

Sometimes we see our friends doing things they shouldn't. Some of us stay where it's safe. Others go in and rescue even though they know it's going to be painfull. I'm so gratefull to those who are courageous to go in and do the rescuing and show the way out.

YAY NIKKI!! You Rock Sister!!!

Trip to Utah and Idaho!

We're Just missing Katie!

Welcome Home! Time out for Austin on the side of the road!

This is what happens when you smack your sister!
Sunflower field close to our house. The picture doesn't do it justice!

Uncle James on the Waterslide!

Cousins! Lizzy and Kaitlynn

Lindsay, who took care of Amanda and I in UT!

One of my Young Women and Amanda's very first babysitter!

More Cousins! Amanda, Maya, and Hayley

Amanda's trip to Sundance

Amanda and I just got back from Utah and Idaho about a week ago. Amanda was there for a Dance Camp at BYU, and I went out to see my Siblings, a much needed visit. It had been over a year and a half. Way to long to go without seeing your Sisters and Brother. I got to see Kayleen before she and James have their baby. SO FUN!!! And Ezra's so stinkin' cute. After flying in, I spent the day driving up and down the Wasatch front visiting with some dear friends. Some long overdue. Friends we knew from our days in UT, The Willey's. Brother Willey showed me his semiautomatic rifle. WOW! IMPRESSIVE! :/ The Chuggs who used to live in Jersey and survived. And then a long overdue visit with one of my most favorite YW leaders, Sister Eckerdt and her daughters. Why I didn't get a picture of that I don't know. I knew I forgot something. I guess I'll just have to go back and get one some time.;) It was so neet to meet some of her grandbabies. SO PRICELESS! Then after watching Amanda's performance in Provo we shot up to Pocotello. Crawled is more like it. I felt like I was back in Jersey in the construction traffic from Brigham city all the way to Tremonton, and I had to pump my own gas! Gosh!... but After a great weekend visit with John, Amy, Kayleen and James, and all the kiddos, it was back down to UT to see Katie Alex, Maya, and Hayley. We all spent the day at Cherry Hill water park and had a blast. Fun to have all 4 of us together again. Now I'm homesick for UT, the mountains, James, Amy, and Katie again, but it's also good to be home.

Amanda and Ashley just had their Dance Recital over the weekend. One more year of dance at an end. I don't know why I get sad. All those costumes now have to put away, maybe to never be used again. I guess it's also a milestone for my girls. They are getting older. They are getting so tall and so beautiful. I guess you start to realize that this is such a temporary stage. Friends of mine who had kids my kids age just yesterday are now watching their children get married, go on missions, and to college. That's surreal to me. But it's just part of life. They tell us that this life is like a blink in all eternity. I wish I could just bottle those special moments. Like the joy you feel when your daughter smiles from ear to ear on stage and knowing that she's feeling complete joy as the audience cheers her on. Like watching a sleeping 3 year old snuggled in the crook of your arm so peacefully. (I don't care what the supernanny say's~parents who don't sleep with their kids are so missing out.) It's such a short time that they're with you, why not enjoy every second. Or, Like watching two little boys chasing each other throwing sand and listening to their infectious laughter. I'll miss it when they grow up and move away. I wish I could remember that during the moments of frustration when I'm picking up everyone's crap! lol

I had a Fight with a Tick and the Tick Won!

A couple of weeks ago Dustin and I decided that it would be super fun to plant our Vegi garden for FHE. We had the whole family out there clearing it and getting it ready, and planting it. Evan did AWESOME. What a hard little worker...when he wants to be. I send Ashley in to clean up Austin who is just dirt from head to toe. Did someone try to plant him? I go check and Austin has no pants on, just a shirt, and he's sitting on the counter with his feet in the sink????(Yes, I know we have strange bathing rituals) She says to me all worried, Mom what is on Austin? I look and sure enough there are 4 little bugs smaller than the size of a pin tip attached in places to make any man cringe. I immediately call Dustin because, well...OH...MY...GOLSH! He comes in from outside just to say, "You're going to have to get them off." WIMP. Glad there's one of us that doesn't pass out at the sight of blood.lol. So I take care of the business and send everyone upstairs to the bathroom to check the rest of us. This is true meaning of family togetherness. Evan has 2 bites, and Dustin and Ashley have them crawling on them. Me? I find two biting but there were probably a dozen crawling on me...Shiver...I don't like bugs.

2 weeks later, after feeling a little crappy and achy in the strangest of places., (The end of my ring finger? My wrists? Thigh? Shoulder? ok thats normal for carrying kids around. Head, Neck, Back, naseated...for about 2 min. I thought I might be pregnant again...FRIGHT!!!... and my face keeps going numb?!?!?!that better go away!!!!) Then woke up sunday morning with the tell tale sign of the Bullseye rash on the back of my leg. CRAP!!!! That means, Dr...Blood test...Medication...YUCK!!!! They won't know for sure it's Lymes disease until after a blood test I can't take for 6 weeks, but heavy antibiotics will be on the menu for a while. Yay!!!!!

Ashley had it last year...I don't think I was as sympathetic as I should have been. Wierd stuff. Thank Heaven for the miracle of modern medicine.

It's crazy that something so tiny could clobber us like that...makes you wonder what the purpose of a tick is anyway... Just a nasty little parasite...but if something so small and insignificant can make you that sick, I will be so happy to be pain free again when I've gotten rid of it, that I will appreciate the laundry and neverending dishes and I will want to clean my house spotless?!?!?! ...hmmmm....one can always hope, right? :)